Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous. (Confucius
551 BC - 479 BC), The Confucian Analects
In examining the new “school of thought” that has taken hold recently, I’ve struggled with the attitudes encapsulated in books like The Secret that promote easy answers. The book promotes the “Law of Attraction”, stating that just thinking of something and being positive about it supposedly brings that very thing into your life. I do believe in thinking in a positive manner and I do believe in creating through first visioning, thinking and speaking as a way to bring things into existence. However, tapping into our true creative power and then utilizing it to its fullest takes a lot of energy and real discipline. And there are often barriers, sometimes legitimate ones, to achieving the things we think we really want.
People have problems, ailments, and heartache for a multitude of reasons. People who are entrenched in The Secret type of thinking have a hard time relating to others who aren’t yet “on board with the program” so to speak. So for instance, at times when I’ve felt down, I’ve had a friend just remark, “Turn that frown upside down!” (this was actually a well-intentioned friend who was not joking, so she’s forgiven), or other off-hand and thoughtless comments including, “Well it doesn’t help to be so negative. You should just be more positive,” when I was simply describing a situation I found myself in. In that instance, I was not looking for a lecture on attitude, but a hint of compassion from a friend, which would have created an opportunity for us to bond more closely. Problems come in all shapes and sizes and the “positive mental attitude” way of thinking, without compassion or empathy, has very few tools for dealing with real problems and real disappointments. If you haven’t figured it out yet, eventually followers of these simplistic trends start to ask, “I’m following the program. Why isn’t anything of true substance happening yet?” And for each of us, there are many answers to this valid question.
From following the spiritual path for several years, my most important conclusion (for myself which has helped me in understanding) is that X is happening because I need to learn it. It is that simple! The Universe, God, etc. isn’t concerned about my short-term comfort, but, rather, my eventual learning and true happiness. The simplistic “positive attitude gurus,” like some psychotherapists who “normalize” your experience and tell you that the process of discovering yourself (really, the spiritual journey) should be fairly easy and carefree, are dead wrong. Learning isn’t guaranteed to be consistently “fun” or joyful and those on the spiritual path will set themselves up for failure if this is their expectation. But, in a difficult situation I can choose to see the joy and beauty in the difficult lesson, even if I’m going through, to use Christian terminology, “The Valley of the Shadow of Death.” While this can be quite painful, I’ve found that out of my most painful times, often come the most valuable lessons. I’ve learned to see the beauty and joy in the painful lessons most of the time, even as I’m going through them.
There are many kinds of lessons. Sometimes the lesson is compassion. Sometimes the lesson is to let go of control. Often times we are called to learn to give of ourselves to serve others. We often shy away from the very things we’re supposed to be learning. We take the “other” path that feels more comfortable and secure (letting our ego self make the decision). We allow others who don’t understand the spiritual path (family and friends) tell us the new direction is too risky, not for us. If we don’t get the lessons the first time, we in fact create the barriers which causes the delay in what we’re trying to create. This in turn creates multiple whackings, or the need for the same lesson to be repeated again and again. While we’re going through the rough waters, we don’t have the wisdom to understand what is happening to us. And if we don’t know what the lesson is, we don’t know how we can move on (this is where a spiritual teacher is helpful, although your teacher is not simply a Magic 8-Ball to dispense answers at your whim).
So my advice is:
1) Be open. Initially you won’t have a great idea of why you’re going through that which is difficult. Go with the experience. Stop judging things as “good” or “not good”, even if the fact that you are about to lose your house doesn’t feel good (of course this is hard). 551 BC - 479 BC), The Confucian Analects
In examining the new “school of thought” that has taken hold recently, I’ve struggled with the attitudes encapsulated in books like The Secret that promote easy answers. The book promotes the “Law of Attraction”, stating that just thinking of something and being positive about it supposedly brings that very thing into your life. I do believe in thinking in a positive manner and I do believe in creating through first visioning, thinking and speaking as a way to bring things into existence. However, tapping into our true creative power and then utilizing it to its fullest takes a lot of energy and real discipline. And there are often barriers, sometimes legitimate ones, to achieving the things we think we really want.
People have problems, ailments, and heartache for a multitude of reasons. People who are entrenched in The Secret type of thinking have a hard time relating to others who aren’t yet “on board with the program” so to speak. So for instance, at times when I’ve felt down, I’ve had a friend just remark, “Turn that frown upside down!” (this was actually a well-intentioned friend who was not joking, so she’s forgiven), or other off-hand and thoughtless comments including, “Well it doesn’t help to be so negative. You should just be more positive,” when I was simply describing a situation I found myself in. In that instance, I was not looking for a lecture on attitude, but a hint of compassion from a friend, which would have created an opportunity for us to bond more closely. Problems come in all shapes and sizes and the “positive mental attitude” way of thinking, without compassion or empathy, has very few tools for dealing with real problems and real disappointments. If you haven’t figured it out yet, eventually followers of these simplistic trends start to ask, “I’m following the program. Why isn’t anything of true substance happening yet?” And for each of us, there are many answers to this valid question.
From following the spiritual path for several years, my most important conclusion (for myself which has helped me in understanding) is that X is happening because I need to learn it. It is that simple! The Universe, God, etc. isn’t concerned about my short-term comfort, but, rather, my eventual learning and true happiness. The simplistic “positive attitude gurus,” like some psychotherapists who “normalize” your experience and tell you that the process of discovering yourself (really, the spiritual journey) should be fairly easy and carefree, are dead wrong. Learning isn’t guaranteed to be consistently “fun” or joyful and those on the spiritual path will set themselves up for failure if this is their expectation. But, in a difficult situation I can choose to see the joy and beauty in the difficult lesson, even if I’m going through, to use Christian terminology, “The Valley of the Shadow of Death.” While this can be quite painful, I’ve found that out of my most painful times, often come the most valuable lessons. I’ve learned to see the beauty and joy in the painful lessons most of the time, even as I’m going through them.
There are many kinds of lessons. Sometimes the lesson is compassion. Sometimes the lesson is to let go of control. Often times we are called to learn to give of ourselves to serve others. We often shy away from the very things we’re supposed to be learning. We take the “other” path that feels more comfortable and secure (letting our ego self make the decision). We allow others who don’t understand the spiritual path (family and friends) tell us the new direction is too risky, not for us. If we don’t get the lessons the first time, we in fact create the barriers which causes the delay in what we’re trying to create. This in turn creates multiple whackings, or the need for the same lesson to be repeated again and again. While we’re going through the rough waters, we don’t have the wisdom to understand what is happening to us. And if we don’t know what the lesson is, we don’t know how we can move on (this is where a spiritual teacher is helpful, although your teacher is not simply a Magic 8-Ball to dispense answers at your whim).
So my advice is:
2) Have faith. Know that you will be guided- look for clues or opportunities presented to you. Know at some point you’ll come out on the other side and you are stronger for it.
3) Find a teacher/guide/mentor. Find someone who is truly serving your best interest.
4) Act. Try new ways of behaving. Incorporate the new growth into your spirit. Practice the new way of thinking/looking at life daily.
5) Serve others. If you are called to teach the lesson, then teach. Support or help others where you can if appropriate.
6) Let go of anger. Know that your spirit has called you to learn this particular lesson. Try not to fight it (remember, you just prolong the phase and it becomes more painful).
Even after a time of reflection, there are times I may not figure out what my lessons are. We may never know the extent to which we’ve helped or even hurt those around us, or all of the ramifications of our actions. Perhaps that is a lesson in and of itself, for us to be at peace. We must realize that it may not be the time to have a particular understanding. But in the other cases, hold dearly to what you’ve learned. As for me, after I’ve accomplished my tasks for this lifetime, I know I can boldly turn my face up towards the heavens. And perhaps I will be fit for a more celestial plane, and offered the chance for new learnings where I will grow from strength to strength.
Nicole
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